I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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