come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
