Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
cat food counts as protein by the way
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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