I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Jerry, you need to find god
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
