I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
