would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Green mimosas i think yes
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
