i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
