I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
