So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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