In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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