And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
