haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
