i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
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My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
be right there i have to get my cape
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Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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