Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
