so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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