Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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