He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
