bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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