And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
