I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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