and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
