Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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