Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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