Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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