Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
