It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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