that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
