Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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