People with herpes should wear stickers.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
