I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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