He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize