how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
