i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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