I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Piatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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