We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
