Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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