Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
