She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
