And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
