Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
