i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
