Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
