we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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