this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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