what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize