fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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