I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.