That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My hand turned me down
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
