maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
