Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
