I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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