Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
