playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
