i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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