Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
