we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
