Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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